Heads in the Clouds...

I have this dream of what my days and life would look like in a "perfect world"...I would wake up, make a loaf of bread so my house would smell so delicious...then I would get the kids up, make a breakfast and more than just oatmeal or toast, walk out back to get in some gardening and pick some fresh veggies for dinner, work on a craft project like scrap booking or sewing a new outfit, play the rest of the morning outside with my babes, after lunch we would go an adventure somewhere so I could take some pictures, then stop by the gym for an awesome workout, followed by some way of giving back to the community, come home to make dinner and hang out and play games after that until bedtime. Of course my house would be spotless the entire time. While I do a majority of these things, I can never find time in a single week to get most of them accomplished.

I dream of this world outside my house, outside of my children, outside the role of mother and wife. I dream of what would happen if what I wanted was on the forefront of my thoughts. So many times, and I know that all moms feel this at some point, I feel as though I have been lost in the shuffle. My husband has a life outside of our house, and has the fortune to experience many wonderful events and opportunities as a perk of his career. My perk, doing dishes 3 times a day and changing diapers...being a little sarcastic here...but knowing that I am so blessed to be able to stay home and raise my children and see all their new discoveries, being able to go and play and do things during the day because I have no 8-5 commitment...but on that same branch of thought, I desperately miss the outside world, the adult interaction, the ways in which I was challenged to perform in a job...so it has been my quest over the last few months or so to find something for me that balances out home life and outside life, something that allows me to grow as an individual but still allows my the opportunity to be a full time mom.

I have been taking photo classes for a couple of months and have really found a passion in looking through the lens and seeing more than just the face on the other end or something I am trying to shoot. When I look through the lens I see the bigger picture, I see beyond the roles of my life and I see a sense of freedom. With the encouragement of my instructor and his more than ego boosting compliments of my assignments, and with the praise I have received here and through my family, I have made the decision to start doing this professionally. I have so much more to learn, so much more to experience, and a great deal more practice. But this is a stepping off point for me. I am going to spend the next few months building my portfolio and taking a couple more classes as I continue to enhance this new craft of mine. The most exciting this is that my husband is all for it even when I told him how much I wanted to spend on equipment...this will not be a speedy thing, it will be a crawl, so while I am crawling along and finding my way through it, if you are local to me and would be willing to let me practice and get some experience I would be so grateful...this may just be something that takes my head out of the clouds and grounds me to a reality...